Parenting in widowhood

by Julie Simeon

When the unexpected news came that my husband had died in a road accident, our daughter was 10 and our lives were changed forever. Though God gave me assurances that it was His time for my husband to go and He covered us with peace, I remember a day when I asked God, “What is it you see in me that You think I can raise this precious girl by myself?”

If I’m to put in a nutshell some keys God revealed to me over the years, they would be the importance of:

  • acknowledging when I’ve made mistakes and asking forgiveness. I have not been perfect! I’ve made many mistakes but tried my best to rectify them;
  • including my daughter in major decisions (like moving back to our home country);
  • letting her know that she was more important than ministry. This became more crucial with one parent. With two, there is always one at home to keep the stability of home life. Being aware of some of the things Mks (Missionary Kids) face, I never wanted her to feel that she was second to others;
  • attempting to understand her generation and the particular things they face;
  • keeping communication open; being available to be a sounding board for her.

My daughter will be 22 this year and is about to get married. 3 years ago, she did a DTS and met her future husband there. When she was being prayed for by our YWAM community prior to leaving, one of our staff asked me, “How did you get her to do a DTS?”! My answer was that I didn’t – God did.

She is a gentle, intelligent, caring, responsible person and I am very proud of the young woman she has become. Can I take any credit for who she is today? Maybe partly, but I can honestly say that I relied a lot on prayer, on seeking wisdom from God and on asking God to speak to her when I felt the words would not be received from me (especially in the teen years!).
I particularly felt my ‘aloneness’ during those years. When I felt it would have been so much easier if she could have had the contrasting viewpoints of two parents and when the responsibilities of parenting would have been shared.

Recently, my daughter told me that since her dad died, God has been her Father. What more could I ask for? To know she has been parented by the best; and that I was never alone.

Questions?

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