Know Your Sexual Philosophy!

by Kenny Jackson

One of the Webster's online dictionary definitions of the word philosophy is, "the most basic beliefs, concepts, and attitudes of an individual or group."
I'm not a lexicographer, but my own, simple definition of the word philosophy is a measurable set of standards and values to live by.
There are numerous things in life to have a philosophy about. Money, Politics, Religion, Gender, Education, etc. The categories are endless. The interesting thing about philosophy is that nearly everyone (of sound mind and thinking) has a philosophy about everything whether they realize it or not, and whether they can express exactly what that philosophy is or they cannot.Last week I asked a group of Christians to get together in small groups and write down what their sexual philosophy is. For some reason, such a simple question caused a great deal of commotion in the group. All I was asking them to do was to write down very simple statements, one after another, that reflect their sexual philosophy.
Everyone has a sexual philosophy, whether they know it or not. The challenge of this article to all Christians is to KNOW your sexual philosophy. In reality, life is simply a series of challenges, tests, obstacles, and opportunities. When these things cross our paths we will choose to respond in one way or another. Even if our choice is to do nothing and just sit there, that choice is directed by our philosophy of life.One day I was faced with the opportunity to ride in a helicopter because of a television project I was working on. My decision to board the helicopter was based on my philosophy of life. My thought processes went something like this:
• I have heard of people dying in helicopter crashes before
• I don't know when I'm going to die
• My life and times are in God's hands
• Although this helicopter may crash, and I could die today, I believe that my eternal soul is safe with Jesus Christ because of his work on the cross
• Statistically, more helicopter flights end safely than end in fatalities, therefore, this flight is a reasonable risk for me to take today.I chose to board the flight, and I often refer to the experiences I had during that flight.
What most Christians fail to realize is that we will either choose to act on Biblical principles and standards that have shaped our philosophy, or we will simply do whatever comes natural. Either way, we WILL DO SOMETHING.
The following are a set of simple questions designed to help you formulate a framework for your sexual philosophy:

• WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?
• HAVE I DECIDED TO LIVE MY LIFE ACCORDING TO THE PRINCIPLES OF GOD'S WORD, EVEN IF THOSE PRINCIPLES CHALLENGE MY PERSONAL PREFERENCES, DEISRES, BACKGROUND, AND EVEN "NATURAL TENDANCIES?"
• WHAT ARE THE ABSOLUTES? (Right, Wrong, Good, Bad, True, False)
• WHAT (if anything) IS RELATIVE?
Once one has made a firm decision about this foundational, philosophical framework, then it is possible to articulate simple, clear statements that describe one's boundaries, similar to the way leaders of organizations are encouraged to craft a mission statement.
The Bible says, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Childhood is the time in life that God has designed for our basic value systems to be shaped and formed. Most people have not had the privilege of a godly upbringing, so their philosophy of sexuality has been shaped by the world.
When Jesus spoke to the woman at the well to "Go get your husband," her response, "I don't have a husand" was his way of pointing out that her lifestyle was in conflict with what she knew deep down to be right and wrong. Sin is simply the choice to live our lives based on a philosophy of doing whatever "comes natural" rather than living according to Biblical principles.
Part of the Full Armor of God is to put on the Belt of Truth around our loins. (Ephesians 6). Paul could have chosen any of the other values to align with the area of the body associated with our sexuality, but he chose the word truth.
 
Kenny Jackson currently serves as dean of the College of Commuication in the University of the Nations. He recently released a series of teaching DVDs "The Battle for your Sexuality - God's Original Design for Relationships" in which he addresses topics like "Sex before Marriage", "Pornography" and "The Core Needs of a Woman". More info available under www.kingdomSexuality.com